One Foot in Front of the Other

So, my resolve went out the window...I Googled every word that was given to me when I was told to schedule the diagnostic mammogram. And I'm reading some blogs that I probably shouldn't right now. Blogs that make me imagine the worst case scenario.

I have this habit of trying to visualize situations before they happen. I think I feel like if I know what's coming, I can somehow control it. I do it with vacations, holidays, scary situations, happy situations. Maybe it's normal, or in the words of Dr. Keith Ablow, maybe I'm nuts.

Why does our mind go immediately to the negative? From what I've read from Dr. Google (as one witty blogger calls my latest obsession), the chances are high that they will take a few more pictures on Monday, say everything is fine and send me on my merry way....please!

The truth is, one way or another, everything WILL be fine. I have family, friends, and positive thoughts on my side. :)

I have spent all day trying not to think about it and was able to have a wonderful day with my family. I have a fun weekend ahead celebrating my husband's 50th birthday. I don't want to worry the good times away with possibilities that will probably never happen, right?

New resolve, focus on fun and the many blessings in my life. Monday will come and go...I'll deal with it then. In the words of Scarlett O'Hara, "After all, tomorrow is another day."

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A Time to be Thankful...and Mildly Concerned?

This weekend, I got to spend a fabulous girls only trip with my best friend. It was a wonderful time to relax and re-energize. So thankful for that time!

On the way home, however, I got a call that no one wants to get. It was my "girly" doctor's office telling me that my mammogram came back with "areas of concern" and that I needed to schedule a diagnostic mammogram. Yikes! Out of the blue, no family history, no indications of problems, deep, dark blue....

When I asked for a little more clarification, I was told there was "dense tissue" and " an asymmetrical abnormality". So I am scheduled for the diagnostic mammogram on Monday...which just so happens to be my birthday. Hopefully, nice clear scans will make for a VERY happy birthday!

I will spend this weekend trying not to think about it, not Google too much, and being extremely thankful for this happy holiday time with my sweet husband, family, and good friends. Your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated! Count those blessings.....happy Thanksgiving! :)

 

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Crazy Dog Lady

That's what I got called today...crazy dog lady. Well, my dogs DO have their own hot pink room and I DO dress them up for Halloween, so maybe I am. :)

 

Hmm...if I had shared a picture of my 3 kids would I have been called a crazy kid lady? Ha! Oh, well...these babies are 3 of my favorite blessings.

I've been called worse...

 

Then and Now...

This past weekend I did a little walk down memory lane when I attended my high school homecoming football game. It's been 25 years(eek!) since our senior year when we won District. Go Buffs! Like a Rock!

So...in honor of the quickly passing sands of time, I give you "The Pride of Haltom High" , your Award Winning, Haltom High Steppers!

So many good, good memories of those wig wearing, jump splitting, dancing 3 hours a day years. I was lucky enough to be a lieutenant to this incredible group of girls:

It was so much fun to meet up with my fellow officers at the game:

See? We even sat in the same order as the composite picture above!

Seriously though, it really did feel like very little time had passed since we were all together. It's hard to believe that I haven't been to any reunions or functions since graduation, even though I've lived just minutes away all these years. Well, actually, I can believe it....I think I kept waiting to be able to show up and be just like everyone else...you know, with kids. I've recently come to realize that I have allowed infertility(yep, I'm finally using the word) rob me of a lot of experiences. When you meet people for the first time or see past acquaintances, the questions about children always pop up. I have become really good at avoiding those situations. But you know what? I'm kind of sick of it. Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't have a life worth sharing. I still haven't figured out how to answer the dreaded " Do you have kids?" Or the even worse " Why not?" Or the cherry on top "Why didn't you just adopt?"... but I'm working on it. :) And I KNOW no one is trying to pry or cause me discomfort. These are normal questions...well, maybe not the last two. But they all come from a good place. It's my job in figuring out what acceptance really is, to answer gracefully, and move on. Again, I'm working on it! :)

The question didn't even come up at the game. In fact, one of the sweet girls in the picture above must have read my Facebook profile, put two and two together, and asked me about my furry four legged children!

It was so wonderful to reconnect with all the people that meant so much to me then. What a great night! I sense a reunion coming on...

One more picture, for old time's sake:

Go Buffs! :)

 

Will It Ever Stop?

This is the perfect image of life in my world lately...

Just gotta keep moving because if I don't, I'll fall off and get dragged under. I know the beginning of the school year is always like this and it WILL get better soon, right?

Happy, tired, frustrated, perpetually sleep walking....I think a Caramel Macchiato might help......and it's almost Friday! Yay!

What's On My Happy List Today...

First off, I am enjoying my guest bedroom/office SO much since the redo! Today, I added the cherry on top!
Just call me Candy Spelling! :)

Hurt People, Hurt People...and other deep thoughts....

Please tell me you've discovered the fabulousness that is the CMT show "Cheer". Friday night TV at its finest, I promise....right after Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, Making the Squad. It's a theme, get it? Anyway, the coach of these Central Jersey Cheerleaders was dealing with infighting and gossip on her team of 12-17 year olds (shocking, right?). In explaining to the girls why the Facebook posts they had put up were damaging, she uttered these four words of wisdom as an explanation: "Hurt people, hurt people".

 

And just like that, everyone saw the error of their ways, all was well, and they won their weekend competition! Miracle!

Looking at my camera roll, I realized that my last 20 saved images are pithy little quotes I've snagged from the Internet....seriously....20! I think I need a new hobby. But lucky you, I'm about to share some of my favorites:

 

 

 

OK...deep thoughts, right! The quote by Elizabeth Edwards has been my theme lately. There's been an awful lot of wind blowing not my way in a few areas. Adjust and move on, that's my motto.....oh, and try not to let my process of adjusting hurt others. 'Cause if Cheer has taught me anything...... :) Seriously, you've GOT to watch an episode or two....